I did it!!!!!!!!

Okay, so I did Day 1 of the Couch to 5K workout program. It's a start, right? You would think that walking for 1.5 minutes and then jogging for 1 minute would be easy, right? Well, it wasn't.

AT. ALL.

As a matter of fact, I'm embarrassed to say that I thought I was going to die.

The phone app was a big help.  The buzzer was music to my ears signaling the end of my 1 minute jog.  I have no doubt that if I had just tried to time myself with a watch then I would have ended up running less.  This kept me on track.

I did it!

Yay me!

Now on to Day 2.

Fat girl running

Yes, my friends. I have decided to begin running. No laughing.

 I bought the book, "Run Your Butt Off", downloaded the Couch-to-5K workout program for my android, and even had running shoes fitted by a specialist today at the very awesome store, The Run Around, in Joplin.  I brought home a very cool pair of shoes that will help me run with my overpronate (or was it underpronate?) feet.  What is overpronate, you ask?  I have no friggin' idea, but standing on that very neat machine getting my feet measured was pretty danged cool.  I also found out that I have a high arch and that my heels support the majority of my weight--- which is excellent, I'm told (I really think that's just because I'm fat, but whatever...).  ;-)    By the way, the shoes are Brooks Adrenaline GTS.  I was also told that you don't look for "cuteness" when you buy running shoes---- hmmph--- not sure if I agree with that one or not.

Anyway, my next purchase should be one of those iPod armband thingies (or maybe those armband thingies hold your phone--- I'm not sure), some cool running clothes (none of those skimpy running clothes for this chubby chick yet), and maybe a neat running watch.  Doesn't everybody need those things when they haven't even ran a block yet?  Or even a yard, for that matter.....  But I will.

True Blood

True Blood Season 4 premiere is Sunday night. I'm unbelievably excited. Why, you ask?

That's why!  ;-)

My Memories Suite Coupon

You may know that I have become OBSESSED with digital scrapbooking.  Maybe it's because I am a lousy mother and neither of my girls have baby books.  Well, Gracie has one, but I think I maybe filled out one page.  Ever.

You may also know that I am not crafty.  At all.  So coming up with cute scrapbook pages for the girls should have been quite a chore.  But it wasn't.  Why, you ask?  Because of the My Memories Suite digital scrapbooking program.  Seriously, if I can use this program to make adorable scrapbook pages for my girls then ANYONE can.  You can buy templates where you just drop your pictures in so your scrapbook page is ready-made (which I did a LOT at first), or you can buy scrapbook kits where you're in charge of the design.  Plus, you can find gobs of FREE scrapbook kits on the internet.

So why am I blogging about this program?  Because I have a $10 off coupon code to share with you!  That's why!!!!!!!  This code gives you $10 off the purchase of the My Memories Suite v2 scrapbook software, and the software gives you an additional $10 coupon for downloads.  What a bargain!

Here is the code:  STMMMS82920

Happy shopping!!!!

Oh, and here are a couple of my pages----

Merely Monday....

No words.... merely another Monday....

Exercise, Day 2

I think the title of this post should actually be, "Exercise Sucks!!!!!!!" Yes, it has been 5 days since exercise day 1, but that has absolutely nothing to do with it.

These two devilish devices are why I have decided that exercise sucks.  I shall call this one Satan's Minion #1,

and this innocent-looking exercise ball shall be Satan's Minion #2.

Truly, they tried to drag me into the depths of hell this morning.

I decided to use every piece of equipment in the room, even if I didn't know what it was.  It's the effort that counts, right?

My first brush with death was with Satan's Minion #2.  You see, I wasn't quite sure what I was supposed to do with the damned thing in the first place.  Finally, I looked at some pictures on the wall where these skinny bitches ladies were doing sit-ups on the ball Minion #2.  It looked easy enough.  I tried it. It was comfortable enough to sit on, so I scooted myself forward to attempt a crunch.  I ended up just kind of laying on it.  I'm not typically a complete idiot so I knew I was accomplishing nothing.  My only problem was that I couldn't figure out how to get off of it gracefully.  So I just kind of laid there.  And laid there.  Then I started giggling.  And giggling.  And I could hear my sister (who I conned into exercising with me) giggling from across the room.

And then it happened------- something moved.  I'm not saying it was me, and I'm not saying it was Minion #2, but it moved.  My gracefulness went out of the window.  I crashed.  And it wasn't pretty.  I looked like a beached whale.  I hit my leg on one of the machines and am already getting a bruise the size of Rhode Island on my thigh.  One of those stupid step aerobic benches fell over across my head and chest, and I knocked the Minion #2 poster of exercises halfway off of the wall.  My sister, always concerned for her baby sister's welfare, was laughing hysterically at that point.  Let's just say that I will NEVER attempt to exercise on #2 again!

Then came my brush with death on the treadmill Satan's Minion #1.  I figured out how to work the machine during Exercise, Day 1, so I thought I was pretty impressive.  I even figured out that the little plastic thingie over the speed buttons was a magazine holder.  How cool is that?  So I did was any other self-respecting middle aged woman would do.......  I hollered for my sister to throw me the People magazine with Pippa Middleton on the cover.  The only problem was that I couldn't quite reach the magazine, so I attempted to take my feet (well, technically just one foot) off while it was still going.  That didn't work out so well for me.  I didn't quite look like the guy in the top picture, but I was close.  I can say with 100% certainty that, yes, I CAN still do the splits!  ;-)

And that's the story of why I hated Exercise, Day 2.

And Wendy Cushing, I added a link to your blog on the "self-respecting middle-aged woman" line because I knew you'd tell me I stole your line.  ;-)

Exercise, Day 1

So today I walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes at the Y.   I fumbled around with the buttons on the machine for about 10 minutes before I even got it turned on---- the gal next to me must have taken pity on me because she stopped running for a second to show me the one button I hadn't pressed yet---- she literally RAN the entire time I slowly walked.  I tried not to breathe too hard so I wouldn't look like a complete idiot--- not sure that worked for me, though. I then wiped off the machine like a good patron and cussed the running woman under my breath because she still hadn't slowed down at all.

Obviously, this picture isn't of me---- that woman is running and SMILING. Who does that?